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As TV talent shows slowly sap our will to live, there’s one contest that just keeps getting better. No deluded warblers. No idiots on ice-skates. Just pure, simple, lingerie-clad girl-next-door brilliance. Once again, it’s time for FHM’s High Street Honeys.
The ladies have done their bit – and now it’s your turn. Grab the new issue of FHM (starring the impossibly gorgeous Abbey Clancy) for your free glossy High Street Honeys booklet. Study the contenders closely, pick your favourite three, then head here to vote and propel them into sexy stardom. There’s even video interviews with all the girls to help you make a more informed choice. And not a high-trousered moron in sight.
Enjoy!
David Moynihan. Editor, FHM.com
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It took a team of four of FHM’s burliest staffers, but we finally managed to prise the wonder-WAG out of Crouch’s lanky grasp for long enough to point our cameras at her. See the incredible results in our brand new November issue, on shelves now. Don’t care for inch-perfect Scousers? This year’s High Street Honeys booklet comes bundled free with every mag. It’s what paper was invented for.
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With enough egg boxes and sticky back plastic, man is capable of sculpting just about anything. Including, as it turns out, genuinely impressive Master Chief costumes. Check out our favourites - along with a host of video tributes to Bungie's new masterpiece – right here.
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Well, kind of. It won’t make it warm enough for lunchtime in the park or evenings in the beer garden. But what it will do is churn out droves of sun-worshipping ladies immune to the fun-busting tides of the season. Some in bikinis, some topless. Some just plain old naked. Dive in.
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…we want to hear your worst experience in a toilet.Once had a poo the size of a baguette? Or were you the George Michael cop? Send your potty-mouthed yarns into truestories@fhm.com - there’s £100 for story of the month!
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Picture the scene: you head down to Bondi Beach with a good book to catch some gentle rays. Then, just as you’re cracking open a packet of miniature scotch eggs to see you through chapter four, along come 1,010 flawlessly bronzed, impeccably toned Australians in bikinis. They’re on some tenuous world record mission for Cosmopolitan magazine. Spoiling your plans for a bit of highbrow culture, the sexy spectacle all gets too much. The next thing you know you’re locked in a grotty Syndey police cell, reluctantly signing the sex offenders register. More pictures here.
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| Genius hounds! Angry giraffes! Chewbacca! This week’s top ten videos are packed with all manner of furry delights. Slip the phone off the hook and stick the out of office on your email. These are the best ten clips of the week.
Found better? Submit your links here. We’ll send the best ones a big box of something nice.
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 Making the original Mario speed run look like a walk in the cyber-park, this gaming god uses glitches and lighting reactions to ace the N64 classic in under seven minutes. |
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 Whilst we suspect this amazing split conversion may be the result of pure drunken luck, the spectacular results ought to be applauded all the same. |
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 Though their primary purpose is to cause death and enrage hippies, nukes also put on one hell of a fireworks display. Prepare for 58 megtonnes of destructive, fiery fun. |
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 Owing to their constant air of furry arrogance, watching a cat slam- dunk itself into a kitchen bin is all the more enjoyable. Only eight lives left now, mittens. |
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 Hilarious animated skit that actually made us chuckle more and more upon repeated viewings. Here’s another. And another. We like. |
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 Inebriated women are a swearing, crying, sicking nightmare. Unless of course they happen to be incredibly hot and trapped safely inside your computer screen. |
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 Prepare to have your best impersonation of Lucas’ shagpile beast put to woeful shame by an item of household furniture. |
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 You’ve seen human Tetris, now witness the classic ape/plumber dispute brought to life. Bafflingly, the Japanese are nowhere to be seen. |
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| Though perhaps not the most effective attack, massive kudos has to go to any beast that’ll happily use its own head to club rivals with. As it turns out, all giraffes are Glaswegian.
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 Making Lassie look like an incompetent, stinking mongrel, this furry chap happily fetches beverages on demand. Man’s best friend just got better. |
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Within seconds of laying eyes upon Nintendo’s phallic Wii controller, we were already making whooshy lightsaber noises in our heads and picturing slain Ewok infants at our feet. Finally, almost a year after the console’s release, the folks at LucasArts are indulging our boyish fantasies. They’re currently beavering away on Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, a FPS that bestows you with Stormtrooper-creaming Jedi skills. But will you use them for good or evil? Find out next summer.
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Whilst your dad had to make do with a cheeky shuffle of his Rubik’s cube, today’s worker has never had it so good. Providing the perfect distraction from other, more productive lunchtime pursuits, the following five games are truly this week’s finest. Unamused? Just think about your poor old granddad – he had to make do with batting a big hoop around the office with a wooden stick for his midday kicks.
Completed them already? Here's 100 more.
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 Unlike the real thing, necking a yard of Calrsberg before tackling this timewaster isn’t guaranteed to give you ‘the edge’. In fact, it’ll probably cause you to jabber inanely at your monitor and sick on your mouse.
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 The Nitro is Dodge's first mid-size five-seater SUV, designed especially for people looking for a vehicle with distinctive styling, sporty performance and a flexible interior. All at an incredibly affordable price - a wallet friendly £13,995. Click here for more information. |
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 As web geeks get cleverer, online timewasters get better. This one’s a visually impressive first-person- shooter, in which you lay waste to stickman adversaries with assorted tools of death.
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 A bit like console favourite Guitar Hero, minus the plastic guitar and a feeling that you might not actually ever amount to anything. Simply bash your keyboard in time to the tunes.
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| Chucking out carbon footprints the size of small countries, monster trucks are about the manliest machines around. Celebrate their ridiculous might with this ace-looking racer.
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 You’ll feel like a shape-matching ace as you rattle through the first couple of levels. But wait – it gets harder. At which point you shall feel decidedly ordinary.
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If you’re in any way unsure of the legality of your downloads, stay away. Anything you upload or download is done so at your own risk. Clear?
First you need the right program. The best are uTorrent for the PC and Transmission for the Mac. Don’t bother with any others.
To make BitTorrent work, you’ll need to open your internet connection. Don’t worry about viruses, as they are very rarely transmitted. This can be a complicated business, but all the instructions are right here.
Making sure your connection is open, search the web for a “torrent file” that allows you to download a file and share it with other people. For this you need to go to a site called a “tracker”. Torrents.to is a great starting point – it runs your search through fifteen of the biggest tracker sites.
Make sure you allow other people access to you files in return – don’t just “leech” off others. Try and keep your uploading and downloading ratio even or the whole thing will fall apart. Also, check that your internet provider doesn’t impose download limits. Use BitTorrent too much and you might end up being disconnected. Or worse, have to pay a fine.
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In 1992, on drug-themed album “The Chronic”, hip-hop maestro Dr. Dre lyrically theorised that “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” Grammatical flaws aside, we feel compelled to question the logic behind this misogynist declaration. Perhaps if the “hoes and tricks” native to the good doc’s hood had more closely resembled these fine displays of womanhood, he may have penned a more positive lady-ode. "Bitches are lovely", perhaps.
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 There are mince pies in the shops and, quite frankly, we’re scared. Drown out visions of family togetherness and inch-thick credit card bills with this festive pants-fest.CLICK FOR MORE |
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 In olden times, any female capable of long division was burnt as a witch. Shame, really - they could've turned out as hot as ultra-sexy Mensa member Dorota Rabczewska, whose IQ tops 150.CLICK FOR MORE |
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 When flawless women hang out with men who own expensive cameras, this is what happens. The modern equivalents of the Mona Lisa. With their bangers out.CLICK FOR MORE |
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 Ten infinitely re-watchable clips of the FHM superstar in action. Regardless of her environment, be it beach, studio or bikini-loosening ocean, our Kelly nails it.CLICK FOR MORE |
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Following the examples of this bunch of sexy tree-huggers, Alicia Silverstone is the latest star to strip off for the benefit of man-eating baby seals. Far more effective than those needlessly graphic leaflets, we’re sure you’ll agree.CLICK FOR MORE
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 With hardly any fabric involved, thongs barely count as underwear at all. Luckily, they do serve a secondary purpose, as the basis of fun and sexy web games.CLICK FOR MORE |
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